Paramount Makes The Expected Counteroffer

And now... the unsurprising counteroffer aka "hostile bid" from Paramount.

It's for $77.9 billion (versus Netflix's $72 billion) and Ellison The Younger is arguing that is offers shareholders $18 billion more in cash.

Ellison says that Paramount has equity commitments from the sovereign-wealth funds of Saudi Arabia, Abu Dhabi and Qatar, as well as Affinity Partners, the private-equity firm of Jared Kushner, President Trump’s son-in-law.

Meaning the one thing we know for certain is that Christmas came early this year for the Conspiracy Theory Crew. (More on that in a minute.)

The prospect of getting to play kingmaker in the deal also seems to be delighting President Trump, who offered three very notable comments in the past 24 hours:

1. He told reporters that he'd be "involved in the decision" as to whether or not the deal went through.

2. He caveated that the Netflix deal "could be a problem" because “they have a very big market share. And when they have Warner Brothers, that share goes up a lot."

3. And as if to cut off any potential Ellisonian gloating, last night he issued a lengthy "Truth" about 60 Minutes and MTG, noting (among other things) that. "My real problem with the show, however, wasn’t the low IQ traitor, it was that the new ownership of 60 Minutes, Paramount, would allow a show like this to air. THEY ARE NO BETTER THAN THE OLD OWNERSHIP, who just paid me millions of Dollars for FAKE REPORTING about your favorite President, ME!"

So there's all that and if you think it's going to die down anytime soon, I've got a bridge to sell you. Because a DEAL about two of the bigger ENTERTAINMENT companies is almost as much fun as a Nobel Peace Prize.

Not to mention a whole lot less work.

Back to Team Tin Hat: There are multiple "theories" floating around the lower reaches of the horseshoe on what's really going on. (They did their research, sheeple. Did you? Well???)

One is that this is all a ploy by Netflix, who knew that the deal would never go through but would damage Paramount by making them pay too much and tie up all their competition (including Warner) so they could continue to brainwash us with direct-to-video George Clooney movies where he plays a version of himself.

The other is that this is a plot by Warner, who knew that Ellison was obsessed with buying them, and saw it as a great way to get him to pay even more money, given that he'd already come back to them with offers three times. And so don't be surprised if Netflix counteroffers and raises the price even higher and CNN spelled sideways is "Satan," can't you see it, it's as plain as day.

I have no doubt other such theories will arise in the coming weeks as well.

Because why deal with facts when fiction is so much more fun?

BUT WAIT... THERE'S MORE: It also seems that multiple people on X are reporting that Ellison The Younger was at the Kennedy Center last night along with Trump, which offers a counterpoint to reporting from Lucas Shaw that Netflix's Sarandos had also been bending the knee, traveling to Mar a Lago and seemingly getting a go-ahead from Trump who allegedly told him that Warner should "sell to the highest bidder."

So more ammo for all sorts of tin hat theories....